Tuesday, May 17, 2016

20 years

Today marks my 20th wedding anniversary to Ted.  (A co-worker is celebrating her 36 - she says I'm a rookie!)  Interestingly enough, it's been a time of introspection.

The dad (Joe) of the best man at our wedding (Mike) died last Friday.  Ted made the choice to go to the wake even though he and Mike have not talked in about 10 years.  They just grew apart, and despite social media, they have not kept in touch.  Ted debated about going, but Joe and his wife Kathy were such a part of his life pre-marriage and even post-marriage, it was the right thing.  He took a half day off to go.

So Ted saw some folks from Mike's group of friends.  Others were not there / had not shown up.  He saw Mike and his siblings, and some of their kids, but none of their spouses.  And not all of the kids either.  In my family, a wake is a command performance and all spouses and kids (grandchildren) must be present.  (Think we don't do it?  My dad's wake was -10 degrees out.  That's below zero.  And yep, we were all there.)

As Ted was chatting with the widow Kathy, she asked about me, our girl, etc - all the usual niceties.  Ted replied with yep, we're married, life is good, etc.  Kathy muttered that all of her kids were getting divorced.

That explained a lot.  One spouse and the kids were coming after she got off work (huh?).  Another spouse of a child who lives out of state never even made the trip (but she sent the g'kids).  The third spouse was also absent.  Of the group of long-lost friends, one is divorced, one remains single, 1 is still married (we're friends on FB) and I think the other 2 are still married.

Ted said it brought closure.  And he's happy we're still married.

Tradition says that china is the gift for 20 years.  We're getting takeout.