Yes, today is that day - I am 50 today.
I am not upset about this - not at all. I look at where my mother was at age 50, my sister at age 50 and where I am at at age 50. By the time my mother was 50, unbeknownst to her, she had lived 90% of her life, as she would die at age 55. At 50, my sister was overcoming Bell's Palsy (it was a rough bout) and starting to plan her next adventure post-retirement. At 50, I look around in this COVID-19 world, and I grateful for my health, my family and everything else. Yes, even my job; I work for a great employer.
I did some analysis when Kim turned 50 and there were 3 things that she (and I, I realized) have done differently than our mother. 3 key decisions that made all the difference. They are:
No smoking. Mother smoked at the end 3 packs a day for years. Nicotine stains everything. Trust me. This ultimately made her ill, but it was a habit that kept her chained mentally I think as well.
Working. Mother stopped working when Kim was a toddler I think, and you can see a marked change in her in family photos. She was someone who should have always worked to maintain her sense of self-worth, but she didn't. She did raise us, however, to be self-supporting.
Not being the victim. Everyone goes through serious shit. I mean, some serious shit. If you haven't, I am happy for you, but most of us go through something that rocks us to our core. Without sharing stories that are not mine to share, I can say that my mother went through some serious shit and Kim has gone through some serious shit. I have been through some serious shit (dead children, anyone?), and I can say that while you feel some self-pity and you feel like a victim (Oh why me?), at some point to move on and thrive and live, you put that pity and victim mentality aside, realize that shit happens and move on, absorbing what life lessons you can from it all. Mother went to her dying day indicating that everyone else was responsible for her oppression; everyone else kept her from doing what she wanted. Everyone was at fault; she was faultless and a saint.
Based on these 3 decisions that Kim and I have made, 50 was just a pivot point to start planning next adventures. We had/have no intentions of stopping living - it's just begun - as our kids were/are materially grown by 50.
So I sit here at 50, thinking of my next goals. I try to set them by decade. I had 2 for turning 30 and I met both of those. I had one for turning 40 and I met that one. I don't think I had one for turning 50, but that's OK. I have a few percolating for turning 60.
I want to be 100% out of debt. This is doable, based on current trajectory of things. We refinanced to a 15 year mortgage a while ago, car stuff should sort itself out, Renee's student loans will need some prepayment, but I have that sorted in my mind, etc.
I need to do some planning for retirement. Kim retired at 56. I of course work in a different industry, so my planning is different. I have a decision point in April 2028, so I need to set some goals for that timeframe.
I need to ramp up Coverlets & Counterpanes. The long term goal for that is for that to be the side gig for retirement; the proverbial pizza & beer money. I need to do a bit of a business plan and build up some inventory. I'm just being a bit lazy here; I freely admit it.
And so in closing, 50 is looking pretty damned good!
